WAR OF CONVENIENCE

To be pedantic the war started six minutes into extra time.
Perhaps it was inevitable that something as trivial as a football match would trigger such colossal upheaval and loss of life across Europe. England were playing Germany in Munich, the pre-match word was friendly. As if the unwanted section of supporters gave a toss. The score was one all when a German player dived in the penalty box; even to those watching on television it was pretty obvious there had never been actual physical contact but the referee naturally awarded a penalty; Austrian if that made a difference. Maybe he was on a promise, wanted to get home quickly. Less than a second before the striker kicked the ball the English keeper was hit in the back of the head with a paintball round and fell to his knees; naturally the ball went into the net and the goal was allowed. The whole of the back of the man's head was red so as he finally fell onto his face, covering his stinging skull with his hands the televised image reached everyone in the stadium and all the English supporters assumed that he was dead. A logical though incorrect connection was made between blood and an actual gunshot. Even the legitimate followers of the game were incensed and while paramedics rushed forwards the spectators began to interact. People looked up at the scoreboard as the prostrate figure was surrounded only it remained unchanged.
Germany 2 : England 1.
As intense fighting broke out all exits were opened and the police began to force the English supporters out of the stadium. That was something of a mistake. Denied the opportunity to see justice, mayhem erupted. Over the next fourteen hours twenty eight civilians were murdered. None of the deaths were particularly swift; they were either kicked to death, had bodies shattered by makeshift clubs, or if they were lucky bled out from wounds caused by knives and broken bottles. Eighty one ended up in hospital with serious injuries. There was a trail of destruction from the football ground to the centre. Just for a change it wasn't so much drink fuelled as pure rage. It was difficult to assess the damage being done at the time, the loss of life. At least until the early morning news and newspapers brought the figures to the attention of the local population. That was when things began to get seriously out of hand.
Armed groups of civilians, possibly as many gangs and non football supporters as anything else, moved onto the streets shooting dead anyone that looked English. The police were suddenly faced with serious unrest. The hundred or so English thugs that had been waiting for an excuse to run riot were suddenly inconsequential. By four in the afternoon there were ninety dead English holiday makers, very few were even football related, not so much as a coloured scarf, eight were children. The spasmodic fighting was continuing despite all police efforts to contain it, international journalists were in the thick of it, documenting and reporting in detail. That went out on the early evening news in the United Kingdom. Mid way through the broadcast they picked up on live coverage. It was something of a revelation, blood stained figures lying on the ground, terrified people of all nationalities running around screaming, not knowing who death would claim. A television cameraman was hit and as he fell to the ground the image being transmitted was that of a small child's head exploding as a bullet carried his brain tissue over his mother curled up on the pavement cradling a tiny baby.
The words civil unrest were inadequate. By midnight the police in the city of London were picking up dead German tourists from the streets. It was rapidly turning into something very ugly. The German police eventually calmed the situation in Munich, they had shot dead anyone that appeared to have been armed, flattened mobs with water cannon and taken all foreigners out of the city in coaches. The England football team had been confined to their hotel for their own safety, all they had been able to do was sit in stunned silence watching television images. At nine the following morning they were escorted by a police convoy to the airport. Only there was an ambush.
Not an angry mob though. The coach took three direct hits from Lars rockets, was blown off the road and everyone inside was incinerated. Strangely no police cars were damaged. Due to the heightened tension news crews were in close attendance, at Noon the nation watched the team burn on every television station, hands were seen pressing against smoke blackened windows. One blood soaked player tried to clamber out through a shattered section, only amidst billowing black smoke are fierce red and yellow flames he died on his knees and fell back inside. The Prime Minister declared a state of emergency and recommended that all UK citizens left Germany immediately. What confused the stunned population was how a few angry football hooligans and their supporters could gain access to armaments adequate to destroy large vehicles. It was almost as though there was a higher power behind it.
By Tuesday the situation seemed to have calmed a little. That was probably because despite the fact that blood was probably boiling in various location across the UK nobody had access to serious weapons, was capable of retaliating in a way they felt appropriate. Only maybe more than the odd one or two were scheming. On Thursday German police patrols throughout the North of their country were attacked by small groups armed with shotguns. That gave the English insurgents a supply of sidearms, machine guns and ancillary police hardware. The carnage began almost immediately, small squads moved into the larger towns and cities and started to massacre the populations in the most densely packed districts. As civilians poured onto the streets desperate for revenge the police were being forced to contain the damage. In some instances that meant shooting dead armed men whatever their nationality.
Perhaps not surprisingly all football matches throughout Germany were cancelled. England however is renowned for the stiff upper lip. Undeterred by mass slaughter across the channel no fixtures were disrupted. Well, at least until half time when heavily armed masked figures started wiping out crowds the length and breadth of the nation. Using automatic weapons and grenades there were hundreds of dead in each stadium. The police were somewhat taken aback, how terrorists brought sufficient weaponry into the country was confusing. Nobody was even arrested, the attackers managed to escape as everyone was trying to help the seriously injured. Not one, anywhere.
Apparently unperturbed by the level of the atrocities the Prime Minister simply closed the Channel Tunnel and stopped all cross channel ferries. Not that it seemed to help, almost as though the Germans had a specific itinerary they continued to massacre sections of the various English communities. Clearly they were angered by a certain element, perhaps what they considered to be the source, the breeding grounds for football hooligans, as they killed people in densely packed estates. That maximised the death toll without having to spread their people thinly on the ground. Germany was not fairing well either, similar tactics there began to cut into the population. It could have been a case of ‘know your enemy' as the thugs in mainland Europe were being just as selective.
The heads of the two nations came together on neutral ground to attempt to resolve the situation before it got out of hand. The word ‘war' came up frequently, only neither figurehead wanted to take that most dangerous of decisions, to involve the armed forces. After a full day of heavy discussion they both declared martial law. Putting their own armies onto the streets to sort the problem was a step in the right direction. All the borders were closed; contain the insurgents and eliminate them. Simple, the level of aggression seemed balanced, kill any armed foreigner, like for like. It took a week to settle the unrest, casualties were heavy on both sides. No doubt the news stories were similar in both countries, the army had cleansed districts with a heavy hand and in some instances it had been necessary to eliminate pockets of people that did not want to disarm in case of later aggression. The troops were shooting the odd native civilian.
It had been a drastic course of action but it had at least stopped the death toll rising any further. Well, for a few days at least. An international news story ran that a terrorist group had broken into a military base in Northern Germany, killed maybe a hundred soldiers and had stolen maybe forty missiles. The good news was that none had nuclear warheads. Only there is always a balance, they were expecting the group to launch a strike on England.
Is it possible to be at war with a country without actually admitting to it?
Wednesday morning 3am all the missiles were launched simultaneously at UK cities. Sunderland to Plymouth, Swansea to Harwich, people were woken as their neighbourhoods collapsed around them. Perhaps luckily it was not a rain of death lasting hours. A single explosion, maybe two or three in the larger cities. Not one military target was hit yet the death toll was well over a million; assuming the government was not lying to minimalise the attack. The problem was that the German government was not to blame, other than being incapable of protecting its own military establishments. The whole of the UK was clamouring for retaliation and the Prime Minister was probably sitting in Downing Street playing the violin while masonry was still falling in thirty three cities.
Images filled every household, it was more like the blitz that the twenty first century, whole segments of cities were rubble. It was fortunate that the death toll had not been higher. It seemed a little odd, the way the devastation was away from city centres. Before anyone had a chance to question the anomaly the government released a statement.
"Because we were aware that non nuclear cruise missiles were likely to be used against us the calibration of the tactical satellites the weapons used, the GPS locating program, was temporarily adjusted. Due to the reliance of other groups, such as airlines, using the facility this could not be changed sufficiently or switched off to cause the missiles to miss their targets completely. Undoubtedly ignorance also saved lives as they were most likely poorly programmed using rather inadequate maps."
Over the following ten days the news broadcasts led with the deadlocked negotiations that were struggling to prevent a full scale war breaking out. Anyone who wanted to seek vengeance was clearly unable to consider how they could mount an assault they would consider to be remotely significant. If nothing happened then it was clear that the government would receive a vote of no confidence and be out on its ear. The difficulty was that nobody wanted to involve the armed forces, despite the horrendous death toll. In was 911 again, the war was against terrorism, an enemy that could not be distinguished from innocent figures in the community. Both nations revealed that they had a fair idea where various factions worked from, deep in the city suburbs where it was impossible to root them out. There was some degree of espionage, surveillance had maybe fifty main targets, all were proving to be elusive, moving between ‘safe' houses.
Just when everyone imagined that the events would be brushed under the carpet there were ten more break ins at German military establishments. As the tension rose it was unclear just what had been stolen, people were covering up; almost as though nuclear material was involved. That put the fear of God into most of the population of Europe. All the television stations were broadcasting appeals for calm, for all hardware to be returned before things ran out of control. Maybe there were a few well chewed fingernails in the corridors of power. It seemed almost criminal, the ease with which armed groups could steal from the German military. People all over Europe, though most significantly in the UK were worried just what was next on an unseen hit list. Two nights later there were air strikes over most of Germany. Forty two cities were bombed using precision armaments. Possibly as many as two million people died in two hours. What followed took the breath from people's lungs. A declaration of war was not what the television crews were announcing.
"Between the hours of 03.00 and 05.00 the combined forces of the United Kingdom and Germany destroyed specific locations in cities across Germany. Each target was a terrorist cell which had accumulated weapons and explosives to mount further attacks throughout Europe in a bid to create a ground war and destabilise the European Union. Although the aircraft were usually lightly armed the level of destruction was intensified by the amount of explosives stored by the armed factions. Twenty locations appeared to contain nuclear devices which reduced the districts to rubble. Fortunately the weapons stolen were what are usually referred to as ‘clean warheads', resulting in minimal radiation. Normally the weapons would not have exploded, only clearly they had already been tampered with, rendering them unstable. Despite the high civilian casualties if these missiles had been launched into any major city such as London, Paris, Rome or Berlin the devastation and loss of civilian life would have been inconceivable."
People were almost certainly crying for most of the day, mourning families and innocent casualties. At least the brief war appeared to be over, without the involvement of ground troops and significant military casualties. It was terrorism, pure and simple. No government can predict a terrorist target as their individual mind sets determine how they make each statement.
Can they?
Naturally the actions stirred the minds of countless people, within a few days the conspiracy theorists were suggesting that it was all carefully orchestrated to enable governments to increase taxes and justify continued military spending. Well, it did make sense. Only what government in their right mind would condone random slaughter of over a million people, three million when taking into account the German casualties? A combined counter insurgent action of such severity between two major nations was about as likely as the Pope being Catholic.
Or was that meant to be Jewish?
So, is the Pope Catholic?
Several investigative journalists got together and went to Germany for an in depth study into the destruction there. Only they were not simply interested in the cities. After detailed examination, and casual conversations with police and civilians all over the country they were not able to find a single military establishment where there had been any loss of life. They realised that certain sites were sensitive, only unless they were completely off the map there was no sign of conflict. Local police were unaware of break ins; two and two was adding up to three. In a secluded location back in the UK the reporters exchanged information and ideas.
"I think we all agree that this had been well orchestrated, probably from the incident at the football match. After all how did someone get a paintball gun into the stadium?"
"I like to think I have both feet firmly on the ground only if we look at the facts they are disturbing. The level of aggression, immediate use of weapons in Germany, then the ease with which they were presumably brought over here, together with an unlimited supply of ammunition. I could accept maybe half a dozen people with three or four spare magazines, but grenades too?"
"I talked to hospital staff in Leeds, and Sheffield, I think it is worse than that. Claymores."
"What?"
"They were probably left around the exits so in the mass exodus people were being slaughtered as they ran away screaming."
"Don't they leave a significant casing behind?"
"Yes, probably, only the army was helping remove victims because of the number of casualties. It is a little worrying just how quickly they arrived at each location."
"You mean there never were any Germans? Over there they were too busy killing their own and blaming us."
"Both governments colluded to massacre enough people to justify increased taxation and spending. Perhaps to prevent other serious incidents coming to light."
"Well, rebuilding cities is going to cost billions, they will need all the money they can get."
"Yes, but most civil engineering work actually only costs ten percent of the tendered cost. The rest is obscene profit, that obviously includes government kick backs and bribes. Nobody in the public sector will know what anything costs, they can double the figures and use that to smooth over some other cock up."
"Has anyone studied exactly who died? I don't think it was coincidental that there was so much destruction in estates. I did wonder just what they achieved overall. Three quarters of a million or more off the unemployment figures, a reduction in drug sales and use, elimination of slum housing that will enable city redevelopment. Fuck that excuse about GPS targeting, I think those missiles hit exactly where they wanted them too. Then look at Germany, I do not believe anyone, terrorist or otherwise could smuggle nuclear warheads into that many city locations. It would make more sense to hide them in isolated farm buildings to prevent discovery and accidental detonation. Studying the actual sites is rather distressing, the similarities, the urban profiles are too similar to those over here."
"Especially as none of us were able to confirm a single attack on any base."
"There are a couple of salient points. How the hell can we use the information and are we risking our lives just talking about it. After all the government, assuming they are behind it, have already killed a million, maybe even two million innocent people."
"Then there is whether people will believe. Hell, I can't exactly see anyone being eager to print or transmit it."
"Especially without a shred of evidence."
"Well, that is one thing the government is good at, covering up. After all we are not allowed to publish half the truth. I dare say most people in the media environment are aware that BSE was swept under the carpet because it would have crippled the country if they had to pay compensation to the farmers following Ag and Fish regulations. Christ if the public found out that New Variant CJD was killing children because the government allowed the wrong organo-phosphate to be used to treat head lice in a handful of schools they would be hung drawn and quartered."
"So, there is a lot of difference between BSE, infecting farms with Foot and Mouth and allowing Germany to drop missiles on thirty odd cities?"
"Fuck!"
"What?"
"Maybe they didn't."
"You've lost me."
"I bet nobody saw them come in. I know cruise missiles probably fly under radar but what if there never were any actual rockets, that the explosions were ground based."
"It would be more accurate, but as they used aircraft over Germany I can't see the logic. Easier to drop an accurate missile, less to cover up amongst the UK armed forces. We could check to see if any were picked up by civilian air traffic but all the government needs to say is ‘below radar'."
They were caught between the probable truth and an inability to inform the population. It was obviously a very convenient war, beneficial to both sides. It was unlikely than a single politician in the know was shedding any tears. Just so long as they were paid a million pounds a year, including illegal expenses, the populous could contract Ebola and they would still be smiling. Just so long as no families or mistresses were caught in the turmoil. The Labour government had apparently embraced the morals of the Trade Unions; ‘Sod you, I'm alright Jack'.
Eventually they enlisted help from an unlikely quarter. Computer hackers attacked the nation's secure sites and published their findings in bold web pages and unbelievable pop-ups. The media detailed the information as it was in the public domain. Naturally they added their own findings, detailed as much as they could to inflame the public. All the information was sent across to their counterparts in Germany. The mud began to stick. The government banned the transmission or printing of everything, that too was a mistake because; incensed by the truth every editor ignored demands and threats, merely adding that to the damning list of atrocities.

PUBLISH AND BE DAMNED
The government had prohibited every section of the media from revealing the truth. Only we will no longer listen to mindless fascists who are prepared to massacre innocent civilians to hide their inability to keep the country on its feet. As a body of well informed people, television and newspaper journalists alike, we have amassed enough information to prove without a shadow of doubt that virtually all the deaths were the result of soldiers in our own forces, and those of Germany working in collusion. It is uncertain whether the convenient war was to enable a swathe of taxation to cover up mistakes, misappropriation or misuse of funds. Everyone knows the greed and lack of moral character that flows through the veins of many politicians. Despite being paid more than most people can dream about they feel it necessary to claim expenses for everything from multiple homes to prostitutes. We can no longer listen to the voice of power when we hear chanting in the background. This is not 1939, Chamberlain is dead, but maybe there are two Hitler clones in power, people who have embraced an evil way of life. We must throw these people onto the streets and pray that the opposition has a few morals. Total anarchy is not a solution but we need to appoint leaders whose sole purpose is not personal gain.

Standing together was the only solution, it had been impossible to determine the level of collusion within the armed forces but the police had been kept out of the loop. That ensured that when orders were sent out to arrest various newsmen they were ignored and brought to the public's attention. It would not have been a good idea to start assassinating anyone. Enough memos had been pulled out of the government's mainframe computer to tar and feather everyone in power. They had made unilateral decisions without parliamentary discussion to reduce unemployment, patch a hole in the purse of the DHSS, reduce undue stress on the NHS which included drug abuse, ensure a significant reduction in crime and made an opportunity to redevelop slum areas. The downside was that to gain significant advantage they had ignored an obvious statistic; the undesirables probably only accounted for a fraction of the dead. Maybe unemployment figures had been slashed, that was partially because of the massacred workforce needed replacing.
Maybe the words of war needed a little adjustment. Churchill in the twenty first century.
Never in the course of human conflict has so much damage been done to so many by so few; those they considered their own leaders.
Before there was a chance for the public to make a decision there was a little more unrest, specifically targeted anger. Ten MP's were beaten to death in their own constituencies by angry mobs. There were no arrests, the police were too busy chasing real criminals. Five more errant politicians committed suicide and the Prime Minister vanished along with several of his top ministers and their families. It was probably something they had planned anyway, that they had a bolt hole in Switzerland or the Pacific. After all with untold wealth they would never starve.
That was the theory anyway. One of the suburbs totally destroyed in Southern Germany resulted in the death of a large number of significant Swiss citizens, a hotel where over a hundred pure innocents were staying. Women, children, people with powerful families. The contents of a significant number of secret bank accounts were removed to provide adequate compensation. Maybe there would be a few famous faces living on beaches and begging for handouts after all. There may be few morals in the corridors of power but just occasionally there is a little justice in the world.
Politics, lesson one. Do not shit in your own garden.